[The words] of his mouth were smoother than butter, But war [was] in his heart; His words were softer than oil, Yet they [were] drawn swords.
Longing to be approved of others can lead to an addiction of looking towards that acceptance. Gaining praise from others can lead to us feeling worse about ourselves if we are not able to maintain that level of acceptance we need within ourselves. Therefore it’s best for us to escape from these preconceived notions that we place upon ourselves.
Q. Answer the following questions: ** I’ve answered these with current relationships which are closest to me at the moment as I have difficulties in posturing them outside of this context currently **
#1 My father in law would be more pleased with me if I would: increase my pace in work and know how to do more without asking for more assistance. This is a false belief that I hold about him, and may not be entirely true. Improved performance comes with experience, although I need to do more on my part to set personal expectations and to meet them to the best of my abilities.
#2 My wife is proud of me when I: do chores without being asked in advance and do my best to keep my word. I also receive praise for when I remember to do certain tasks also – living with honesty and integrity. This is a good thing actually and not bad whether it’s as simple as taking my medicine or placing a needed phone call to check in with an individual.
#3 How does my mother in law attempt to get me to change by what he/she says and does?
Sometimes I have felt that performing certain tasks requested were placed in my head or originated with me when actually that was not the case. I doubt this is intentional on her part. I do not have a specific example at the moment. Sometimes I feel bad when I choose not to do something she’s asked of me too, and this could be joining the family down at the house for ice cream! I place this specific feeling upon myself however.
#4 Things I do or say to get approval from my wife include: showering her with praise and telling her that she looks beautiful. I actually do feel this way towards her however. I also thank her for doing tasks around the home, if I see that an area of the house looks clean or whatever. I appreciate the meals that she cooks also as she is amazingly gifted at preparing them. I try to give her what I want to receive myself and that is praise and acceptance. I really do not see this as manipulation however which seems how this question is phrased. I do these things because I care for her and want her to know that I appreciate her. I know however that my character personally needs sharpened by discipline and allowing the Lord to work in that area of my life more consistently.
Lord God help me to see myself for who You’ve made me to be and not how I see myself. I only want to see the failures necessary in my life that can best bring about personal change by Your Spirit and not to wound myself.2013-08-03
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